20 Dreams for 2020

curvy charlotte blogger with red hair wearing suede moto jacket, plus size bodysuit and sequin skirt.

I know the New Year has already begun and we’re already halfway through the first month, but I’ve been brainstorming what I want this year to look like over the last several weeks.  This is the year that I want to finally bring some big ideas to fruition.  Which means I have a lot of dreams that I want to keep in mind.  Some of these are crazy, wild dreams while others might seem more simple or mundane.  While they include my GOALS, which I shared Instagram recently, they’re different in that I probably won’t achieve all of them.  That’s not my expectation.  But I hope that I can at least work toward them.  They’re part of a bigger picture that will help shape this year and maybe even the new decade.  In no particular order, here are my 20 dreams for 2020…

curvy blogger with red hair wearing suede moto jacket, plus size bodysuit and sequin skirt.

I continue to choose joy, even when it’s hard.
We live life through our choices, and I choose to live mine in joy.  That means doing my best to let go of negativity, anger and feelings of “not enough.”  It also means that I must be willing to walk away from environments or relationships that drag me down.  I’m opening my heart up in 2020 to receive the good and be OK with letting go of the bad.

I consistently write on my blog, three times a week, and connect with you on social media as my most authentic self.
My #1 biggest struggle with balancing a full-time job, the blog and my personal life is consistently connecting with you.  Consistency is not only a sign of respect to myself and my voice, but to you.  So in this new year I really want to focus on nailing down a workflow and schedule that I can commit to and will help me show up in the most effective ways.

I double my income.
As an entrepreneur, I want to continue to grow my business and this is a major goal that would help measure my progress.  This is a BIG one!  I also have some major financial goals I want to meet like giving myself more flexibility to travel, creating a robust savings, and finally paying off all of my credit card debt.  Yep, I have credit card debt.  But you know what?  I’m SO close to being rid of it!  Last year my income from the blog helped me get there and I want to get that monkey off my back for good. 

I travel more than I ever have so that I can experience the world and stop letting what I “should” do hold me back.
My mom would agree that wanderlust is definitely part of my DNA haha!  She always has the travel bug and so do I.  Last year we really started finding ways to travel more and experience all of the beautiful things the world has to offer, like going to Europe together for the first time or finally going to Charleston just for fun.  We’re continuing to expand this travel dream in 2020 already: I’ll be going to Paris in May with my mom, Trent and I are headed to Berlin in the Fall, and Trent is taking a road trip all around the north-eastern half of the US with his brother.  We will mix in some weekend adventures here and there, too.

curvy blogger wearing suede moto jacket, plus size bodysuit and sequin skirt.

I am an exceptional wife, sister, daughter and friend.
This is one of the most important things on my list because I want to really put more intention into my relationships.  Making time for loved ones regularly is something that is vital to me, it’s one of my love languages, but I struggle with getting it on the schedule because I get caught up in my own world.  It’s like I live in a bubble where all the things swirl around and around, all blurred, until next thing you know it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen my mom who lives just a short drive away.  Sometimes a month goes by before I see a dear friend. I don’t want to continue that pattern.  It’s not healthy and life is too short to miss out on that time.  I know it’s unrealistic to be able to serve everyone all the time, that’s not what I’m setting out to do.  Instead I want to intentionally find ways to spend more quality time with friends and family.

I let go of my fear of mortality.
This is not something I talk about a lot because there is honestly a lot to unpack behind this fear, but I can say it out-loud now: I am afraid of dying. I’m especially afraid of dying young.  I don’t live my life constantly thinking of that fear but it certainly rears its ugly head from time to time.  It comes with crippling anxiety, panic, and lots of tears.  As sad as I am to say this, it can also skew my “life is short, embrace joy” mentality into “life is short, hurry, do it while you can.” I want to let 2020 be the year that I work through my issues with mortality, change my mindset and release that ominous weight.  I want to be free of it.

I launch my podcast.
Does that sound wild to anyone else?!  It’s so exciting to me!  I have owned a podcast mic for a year now.  A YEAR!  All this time it’s gone untouched (with the exception of a few recordings) because I have intentionally sat down and mapped out my content.  I don’t want my podcast to be put off to the side for years like my blog did.  I know it’s my perfectionism and I need to get over it.  Once I get started, I know I won’t stop, but something has held me back.  2020 is the year I will make it happen!

I inspire women to embrace their bodies and choose joy over insecurities, self-hate, and toxicity.
You know this is something I’m extremely passionate about.  This is one of the primary reasons I’m sitting here typing this post.  The ultimate goal of everything I do is to inspire women to embrace themselves, feel the freedom that comes with it and have a joyful life.

I motivate 100 women to make the switch to a clean beauty skincare and make-up routine.
You may have noticed that I’ve started talking about clean beauty more regularly on social media.  Well, that’s because it’s something I feel passionate about, but haven’t expressed as much in the past.  Years ago when I learned all of the shocking facts about the beauty industry, such as the lack of regulation in ingredients by our government, the harmful ingredients that we unknowingly put on our bodies, and the horrible amount of green-washing that is happening, I had to make a change.  In 2020 I will share more of my knowledge with you, help you make informed decisions about products you use and hopefully inspire you to make the switch to cleaner, safer beauty.

I let go of my anger that is an expression of grief.
This is a doozy.  I will explain more of this later, but this is right up there with letting of my issues with mortality.  Essentially, if you’ve experienced grief then most likely you’ve most likely experienced the anger that comes with it.  The anger I feel surrounding the loss of loved ones has engulfed my emotions at many times in my life and while it has gotten better, the fire is still there.  I want to release that negativity from my life and come to a place of acceptance. 

I enter each day grounded in who I am through meditation, mindfulness and goal setting.
To be honest, my morning routine isn’t great.  Every now and then I’ll start it the right way with some meditation, journaling, gratitude and goal setting.  But a lot of times it involves watching the latest episode of Real Housewives while I drink my coffee and eat breakfast.  I always see a drastic difference in my day and attitude when I practice mindfulness and doing it in the morning is truly the best.  This year I’m determined to change my morning routine for good and make it more fulfilling, uplifting and productive.

I help women struggling with disordered eating and body dysmorphia know they are not alone and healing is possible.
You may have noticed I started the new year off by sharing more about my struggle with Bulimia and body dysmorphia on Instagram.  It was amazing to see so many women come together and share that they, too, have struggled with this or know someone who has.  I want to share more of this part of my journey and how it relates to my now positive body image so that I can help others who are struggling see that recovery is possible.  That, in fact, there is so much joy to be had in life and you are every bit as capable of achieving it as I am.  We must choose change, to learn to unconditionally love ourselves inside and out and understand when to give ourselves some grace.

I finally learn NOT to let my stress affect the tidiness of my home.
Since high school I’ve expressed stress by spreading my stuff out everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE!  My clothes are strewn across the bedroom, disorganized in random place in the closet, on “the chair” that holds all the worn-but-not-dirty items and you can forget about finding space on the top of our furniture.  Dressers and nightstands are constantly covered in used cups, clothing tags, jewelry, random knick-knacks and things I hadn’t figured out where to put.  The funny part is that living in this chaos just ADDS to my STRESS!  It drives me absolutely crazy!  Is I live in it…I function (somehow)…until finally I can’t take it anymore and I have a meltdown or finally take hours to clean it.  This year I want to finally consistently put things up as I’m moving them around, hang clothes back up if they’re not going in the hamper, and keeping my space tidy.  Taking 30 seconds to put something back in its place is so much more efficient than waiting until it’s all piled up, taking hours to clean when I finally get to it.  It’s just plain practical.  Ultimately, it will reduce my stress and help make my home feel like the oasis I truly want.

curvy blogger wearing suede moto jacket, plus size bodysuit and sequin skirt.

I diligently follow the schedule I set for my day and stop breaking promises to myself!
In Girl Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis recounts a story about going out to dinner with friends, only to return home and face the treadmill she told herself she would run on today.  It wasn’t the perfect circumstances, part of her wanted to cancel, but she followed through and got her workout in.  After a friend asked why she didn’t just put it off until the next day I loved her response: “No, because I made a promise to myself and I don’t break those, not ever.”   This applies to many parts of my day, even outside of workouts.  If I told myself I’m going to wake up at 4am to get a workout in, organize my day and get some work done before my day job then I need to do it.  Every time I hit “snooze” on my alarm, I’m breaking a promise to myself.  Every time I face a pile of work or know that I need to finish writing a blog post I need to muscle through it and get it done.  Each time I procrastinate, I’m breaking a promise to myself.  In 2020 I want to stick to the schedule I set for my day, take control of my life and stop operating in a constant game of playing catch-up.

I finally re-organize my closet in a way that actually works for me.
Ugh.  My closet.  It’s a hot mess majority of the time and rarely does it stay organized.  No matter what I do, it always reverts to feeling cramped and cluttered.  This year I want to get that under control and feel proud of my wardrobe.

I make my house a home I am proud of by completing projects I’ve had on my mind since we bought it…three years ago.
We’ve been in our home for too many years to still have boxes of artwork we never unpacked.  It’s time to take care of that and finally make our home look the way I dreamed it to when we bought it.  As embarrassing as this may be, I was so excited to move in that I actually came up with a design board for each and every room.  It’s time I bring those designs to life and I want to share it all with you!

I will start a movement encouraging a diverse group of women to move their bodies and feel confident working out whether it’s in a class, the gym or at home.
Hopefully you can tell by now that working out is one of my passions. I love being able to honor my body by excising it’s strengths and working on building up its weaknesses.  The gym is a place I feel confident because I know I belong there.  I want other women to know and see this about themselves, too.

I take control of my health by taking care of myself first.
They say you can’t take care of others until you take care of yourself first.  You can’t fill someone’s cup if yours is empty.  I completely agree with this and want to make sure I put myself first by taking control of my mental and physical health, especially during stressful times.  This means working out regularly, eating foods that serve my body, drinking tons of water and taking my vitamins.

I spend more time in the mountains. 
The mountains of North Carolina are where I really feel at home.  It hurts my heart every time we leave, but I want to be able to be content in where I am. I want to be able to leave knowing the door is always open and release the feeling of urgency to return.

I feel abundant and fulfilled.
This one is self-explanatory.  No goal I reach or dream that happens will bring me to this place, I must instead work on establishing an abundance mindset each day.  There’s a lot of internal work on my to-do list this year, but I’m ready for it.  Time to live the life I dream of.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my dreams for the new year!

4 Comments

  1. I can so relate to the anger you feel over losing a loved one. Every year I tell myself this is the year to deal with the grief so I can let the anger go, but this year I am actually making a plan to make it happen. Best of luck in your journey!

    1. Thank you for sharing and letting me know I’m not alone in that journey. That’s incredible that you have come up with a plan! I’m working on mine, but I’m determined to finally let it go. Best of luck to you!

  2. Coincidentally I recently watched a post from another blogger regarding making/breaking promises to ourselves – big ones and small ones This led me to contemplate how many times I have been guilty of doing just that. But then on the other hand I have been so busy keeping promises to others that the promises I made to myself fell by the wayside. A long time ago someone suggested that I needed to stop “shoulding” on myself (I do that a lot). I have asked myself if one layer of the “shoulding” on myself is the internal dialogue where I’m beating myself up for not keeping the promises I make to myself. And perhaps what I need to do is become more discerning about the magnitude and number of those promises. Do I expect too much of myself and then things fall down the Rabbit Hole of Overwhelm? My grandmother used to say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Given my religious upbringing I thought that meant I was a bad person for not doing everything I said I was supposed to do. Now that I’m the grandmother, I’ve come to realize that that hell she was referencing is the rabbit hole of overwhelm. All those unfulfilled promises to myself drain me by tying up energy… I tie myself up in knots. Little by little, I am finally learning to either cut the tie or act on those promises. Cutting the tie ends the shoulding in myself.

    1. Thank you for sharing <3 I definitely do that, too! You've spent many years following through on promises to others....it's time we fulfill the ones to ourselves WHILE knowing how to edit our expectations so that they're realistic.

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